- "Your demons may have been ejected from the building, but they're out in the parking lot, doing push-ups" cool quote from the book
- Problem is that our egos are never satisfied, regardless of how much you buy, amazing food you eat or debates you win. We never feel complete
- Your ego is constantly stacking you up against everyone else in terms of wealth, looks and social status. The ego convinces you that everyone else is faster, stronger, better!
- The biggest problem is that we tend to spend most of our time thinking about the past or worrying about the future. This is at the expense of focussing on the now
- "We live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation"
- "Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment." - Tolle
- This means things are never quite right, we're never satisfied, nothing is quite good enough because you're always looking for the next thing
- Churning of the ego can be referred to as the "Monkey mind", never at rest, never settled
- "Mindfulness In a nutshell, mindfulness is the ability to recognize what is happening in your mind right now, anger, jealousy, sadness, the pain"
- According to the Buddha, we have three responses, "We want it", "Reject it", "Zone out"
- When things are tough, trying leaning into what happened and try to understand it. A bit like when a big wave is about to hit your dive in rather than get bowled over when it crashes down.
- Use rain to apply mindfulness in acute situations
- R: recognize. A: allow. I: Investigate. N: non-identification
- Essentially mindfulness allows you to create some space in your head to respond to a situation rather than a knee jerk reaction
- All sorts of things crop up in your head that you can't control and shouldn't try to. What you can control though is how you react and handle those thoughts
- It's amazing how most of us have been blessed with amazing experiences and yet when we think about them they no longer sound so great
- This is because once we've had a great experience we set this as a benchmark expectation leaving us consistently unfulfilled
- "The pursuit of happiness becomes the source of our unhappiness. We're constantly thinking about 'what if' rather than appreciating where we already are and what we already have.
- Reminders we of something Tony Robbins often says, "If you want to be happy, trade expectation for appreciation"
- Studies have shown meditation to reduce stress and boosted the immune system
- Importantly doing meditation is like working out your muscles at the gym. Over time you can train and tone your brain.
- In other words, happiness is a skill.
- Important point about multitasking. Neuroscience says it's virtually non-existent. it's a computer derived term and not something we can do as humans. We only have one processor
- When we think we're multitasking, we're just moving from one thing to the next and back again. We can't pick up from where we left off each time like a computer can.
- We should only do one thing at a time. Focus on the task at had. Reminds me of "Sit sit, walk, walk, don't wobble".
- Try to take mindfulness breaks throughout the day. For example, when your computer is loading don't faff around, take the time to listen to your breath instead. Or if you're waiting in the queue to pay for the shopping. Lots of places you can apply this
- Be compassionate, compassionate people tend to be healthier, happier and more successful at work. Practicing compassion leads to lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.
- Once you let go of the idea that people are trying to screw you over, compassion and mindfulness it's easier not to get carried away and lose your temper. You can still get frustrated you just put a different spin on it.
- Being nice is actually a great manipulative tool. If you're able to take someones perspective and take validate their feelings in tense situations. This reminds me of the chimp management book.
- It's often the unknown that we fear because what we think is going to happen is bad but the reality is that we just don't know
- Fear of annihilation can actually be a good thing because it reminds us of our impermanence and that we don't actually have control
- Hide the zen. Sometimes people will take advantage if they think you're being too 'zen'.
- Business often has to be competitive but that doesn't mean you still can't be compassionate. Sometimes you have to have tough conversations or give people a 'sharp word' but it doesn't mean it can't be done without overreacting and becoming overly personal.
- "There's no point in being unhappy about things you can't change, and no point being unhappy about things you can"
- Try to avoid too much self criticism. Research shows that firm but kind is the way to go i.e self compassion
- "Meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It's about feeling the way you feel"
By Jonathan Clift, a UX Desginer based in the UK.